How to use this guide
These steps are meant to be worked through together, at a kitchen table or on a walk, over a week or two. They do not need to be done perfectly. The point is to get from "we should talk to someone" to a first appointment that both of you feel good about.
Step 1: Agree on why you are going
Each of you writes down, separately, two or three things you would like to be different in six months. Then compare lists. You may find more overlap than you expected, or you may find you are hoping for very different things. Either way, this gives a counselor something concrete to start with, and it helps you notice which providers seem to fit what you want.
Step 2: Decide on the basics
Talk through the practical limits before you start calling. Which evenings or weekend times can you both protect? Is in-person in Lubbock important, or would video sessions from home be easier? What can your household budget handle each month? Settling these first saves you from long conversations with a counselor whose schedule never lines up with yours.
Step 3: Build a short list
Use this directory to find independent couples counselors serving Lubbock. We introduce you to providers; we do not run sessions or check credentials. Pick two or three names and note how each describes their work with couples, their office location, and whether they see clients by video.
Step 4: Look up each license
Before you book anyone, go to the Texas Behavioral Health Executive Council's site, cited below. The Council oversees the state boards for professional counselors and for marriage and family therapists, and its site has a public license lookup. Search each name on your list. Note the license type and whether it shows as current. If you cannot find someone, ask them for the exact name their license is under.
Step 5: Know where mediation fits, if you have a case
If a family law case is already open in Lubbock County, mediation may be part of it. The courts' local rules say they favor resolving family law disputes through alternative dispute resolution and that the county's Office of Dispute Resolution contacts parties by letter about scheduling mediation. The state law library also lists Lubbock County's dispute resolution services as available to the public. Mediation works on agreements about specific issues; counseling works on the relationship. Ask your attorney how the two fit together, and tell your counselor about any dates you need to keep.
Step 6: Make the first calls
Call or message each counselor on your list. Ask how much of their practice is couples work, what a first session involves, whether they ever meet partners one-on-one, and how they handle it when partners want different things. Ask about session length and how often couples usually meet. Both of you should hear the answers if you can, even if one person makes the call on speaker.
Step 7: Book a first session and agree on ground rules
Pick the counselor who felt the clearest and most balanced. Before the first appointment, agree on a few ground rules at home: no bringing up session topics in front of the kids, a cooling-off period if a session ends tense, and a promise to show up for at least the first few meetings.
Step 8: Prepare for the first hour
The first session is often mostly listening and questions. Bring your lists from Step 1, a sense of your calendars for the next couple of months, and any questions you did not get to on the phone. Plan to arrive a few minutes early if you are meeting in person, since parking and building entrances can take a moment to find. If you are meeting by video, find a room where neither of you will be overheard by children or roommates, and test the link beforehand. Afterward, give yourselves a quiet half hour before jumping back into errands. It helps to talk briefly about what stood out, without trying to settle anything that night.
Step 9: Check in after a month
After about four sessions, talk privately about how it is going. Do you both feel the counselor listens evenly? Are conversations at home changing at all? If one of you feels sidelined, raise it in session. If it still feels wrong, return to your short list. Trying a second counselor is normal, and the directory can help you find another independent option in the Lubbock area.