Using this guide
These steps are meant for two people in Visalia who have decided, or are close to deciding, that they want to work with a counselor together. Work through them at your own pace. Some couples finish the first four steps in an evening; others take a few weeks.
Step 1: Talk about what each of you hopes to get out of it
Before you look at a single listing, each partner writes down one or two sentences about why they want counseling now. Share them. You don't need to agree on the reason. You do need to agree that you're both willing to show up.
Step 2: Set your filters
Pick the practical constraints that will rule a counselor in or out:
- days and times you can both attend
- in person in Visalia, video, or a mix
- language preference
- any experience you want the counselor to have, such as working with remarried couples or partners from different faith backgrounds
Three filters is usually enough. More than five and you may end up with nobody.
Step 3: Build a short list
Use the directory to find two to four counselors who match your filters. Look at how each one describes their approach, and note anything that either of you reacts to strongly, positively or not.
Step 4: Look up each license
California's Board of Behavioral Sciences oversees LMFT and LPCC licenses, along with LCSW and LEP, and its site links to the public DCA License Search. For each name on your list, run the search and note the license type and status. If the name you were given doesn't appear, ask the counselor about it directly before going further.
Step 5: If a family law case is open, sort out the court side separately
Couples who already have a family law or support case with the Tulare County Superior Court should know about two offices at the County Civic Center on South Mooney Boulevard. Family Court Services in Room 204 handles court mediation for people with an open case, whether referred by the court or seeking it voluntarily. The Self-Help Resource Center in Room 203 offers free assistance with certain family matters and paperwork; its staff are neutral and represent neither party. Keep these court steps separate from your private counseling, and direct filing questions to the court rather than your counselor.
Step 6: Book consultation calls
Call or message each counselor on your short list. If possible, both partners join the consultation. Ask how sessions are structured, whether they ever meet partners individually, how they handle scheduling changes, and how billing works.
Step 7: Compare notes within a day
Right after each call, jot down a few words each. Did the counselor seem balanced? Did either of you feel talked past? Comparing impressions while they're fresh keeps one partner's view from quietly becoming the decision.
Step 8: Choose and commit to a trial period
Pick one counselor and agree, between yourselves, to a set number of sessions before you evaluate. Settling on a number in advance gives the work time to get past introductions before anyone decides it's not for them.
Step 9: Protect the appointment
Put sessions in both calendars. Arrange child care ahead of time. If one of you works a variable shift, figure out the backup plan now, whether that's switching to video or rescheduling within the same week.
Along the way: Keep a light record between sessions
Some couples find it useful to keep a shared note on their phones. After each session, each partner adds a line or two: one thing that landed, one thing that felt unfinished. You don't need to discuss the note at home if that tends to start arguments. Just bring it to the next appointment, read it aloud, and let the counselor help you decide what to pick up first. Over a few weeks, the note also gives you something concrete to look back on, which makes Step 10 a lot easier than relying on memory alone.
Step 10: Check in with each other, then with the counselor
At the end of your trial period, talk privately about how it's going. Then bring that conversation into a session. A good counselor will want to hear if something isn't working, and adjusting the approach is a normal part of the process.